Category: Cherry McKinstry
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What is Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples?
Are you and your partner feeling a little stuck in your relationship? Are you starting to feel more like roommates than romantic partners? It might be time to try emotionally focused therapy (EFT). But wait, don’t let the word “therapy” scare you off! EFT is not about laying on a couch and talking about your…
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How to Make Big Life Decisions
Big life decisions look different for everyone. Should I take this job? Should I stay in this relationship? Do I want to stay in this relationship? When is a good time for me to go back to school? When should I have children? Do I want children? The hardest question of all: What makes me…
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Doing Something Different During the Holidays: Guilt vs Resentment
Picture this: You and your partner have had a routine for the holidays for the last x years. Either it is with your family, their family, etc. You have a strong pull for something different this year. You envision a low-key, nuclear family, stress-free holiday experience with your partner and children/pets. How would you even…
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What to do with a Millennial Therapist
Are you seeing a millennial therapist? Someone who looks like they could be 40 years old or younger? Are you doubting their ability to understand your concerns and life problems? Consider this. Millennials are a bunch of confusing folks to outsiders. They are split between their parent’s conservative values, whilst conflicted with their liberal views…
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Do you know your partner’s core values?
Have you ever noticed your behavior is determined by your values and beliefs? Do you know where your values come from? Do you know your partner’s core values? Do they align with yours? As adults, we live and interpret life with a set of schemas. With this framework, we create a set of values that…
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Embracing ‘healthy’ shame
Like many others, I share an ongoing theory that we can run, but we can never hide from ourselves. Wherever we go, there we are. When we hide our pain or shame in the dark, they tend to grow and deepen their roots inside us to which it becomes harder and harder to untangle and…
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Power of shame
The sentiment of shame is often felt by some as a sense of heaviness and guileful sin. Though to many, if asked to identify their sinful behaviors, may find it difficult to actually establish particular cause for this feeling. Intrinsically feeling not-good-enough is cunning in its masking of root and genesis. The feeling of shame…
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Are you ready for marriage?
Congratulations on your engagement! And if you are not engaged, congrats on your commitment to each other. This post is not just for the engaged couples. This is relatable for all relationships. Relationships are a miracle: Two people deciding to commit to each other every single day. The miracle is that they love you back.…
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A better way to argue.
Our relationship isn’t perfect. We fight, yell, and sometimes slam doors (mostly me). At times during our fights, I’ll admit I have forgotten that we are on the same team and want the same things: to be heard, understood, and most of all, validated. The worse thing we could do is “sweep the (fill in…